Friday, December 13, 2013 at 12:00AM
HEY KIDS! Now you can get your very own SPACE-MONKEYS™! Just send $1.00 to the address below, and we’ll rush you SPACE-MONKEYS™ that you can keep around as a pet! No more boring dogs and cats! These SPACE-MONKEYS™ have actually been to SPACE?! HOW COOL IS THAT?! Just feed your SPACE-MONKEYS™ with the special SPACE-MONKEY™ food (free food for life!)and watch them grow into productive members of SPACE-MONKEY™ society™! WOW FUN HAS NEVER BEEN SO FUN!™
ORDER NOW! Time is limited!
Ask your parents before sending away for SPACE-MONKEYS™. Postage charges may occur. Free food offer only good in the lower 48 states that begin with a “W”. Animal-Fun-Co is not responsible for monkeys who rip faces off. Please understand that these are still wild animals. Also we understand we are misusing the word monkey. They are apes, but the word ape is far less appealing. Do not feed SPACE-MONKEYS™ after midnight. Do not return SPACE-MONKEYS™ to the post office for any reason. Hilarity may ensue if you put SPACE-MONKEYS™ in a tu-tu. No refunds. No Exchanges. This notice releases Animal-Fun-Co of any liability.