I wanna be your friend!

I'll admit it. I'm pretty good at looking at someone and wanting to be their friend. They have "something" I can't explain. You never want to rush these things; becoming friends should happen naturally, not forcefully. Whenever I've voiced my enthusiastic opinion of a "new friend", they always think I'm the weird one. Oh Sure, Bob down in isle 8 is fine because he brought you cookies, but as soon as I want you to smell my chloroform-laced rag, you get all "go away creep!".

I'll never understand office politics.